Love is an intense insanity.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

of jaded

I am reaaaallly sorry to you if I have, somehow, stepped on the wrong nerves today. And I still wonder what's the laughing all about eh. hmm.

Anyway. I dunnoe what is wrong with me. I can't seem to find the RIGHT brushes for my new blog layout and the right fonts for the words that I have. What I envisioned is TOTALLY different from what I have right now. I think I wasted too much time and emotion on other things hence I lose focus. Yeah. That has to be it.

And to add to it, I just hate it when friends tend to push you to the other side though a promise has been made. Not talking about forcing but things are WAY different last semester. It's a harmless request actually but oh well. Either that or I am just purely jinxed.

I am going to pick a day to go for a shutter therapy. Maybe at Esplanade. And might as well jump into that river too. Or take a great fall from that Fullerton.

[Tuesday, May 29, 2007]

Saturday, May 26, 2007

of something hilarious

HAHAHAHAHHA...ok lame.

Tsk tsk. I read Mai's and Idza's blog and I got a bit jealous. Chet! so korg da kawan baik ah ni? So idza don't need Janny right? Tak fair ahhh.

Anyway, Idza got the funniest post ever and I think after reading it I can't do the quiz already lah. Cos I know what's the questions gonna be mah. And how come person no. 10 only have like 2 questions eh?tsk. I'm charismatic? Oh you are just flattering me. HEHEHEH. And, me number 10? TEN? tsk tsk. now I know, now I know.

Jealousy aside, I was invited to a mini reunion at Padi and Nooch remember? A bit traumatising man.

You see, my friend, Khatim received a call from the manager that apparently, there would be a band performing outside the alfresco dining area. Well I don't mind though. But when we were on our way towards far east square near Chijmes/10 minutes from Raffles, we were all greeted by males in blacks. They looked at us as though we are gonna preach unto them or whatever. So we sat and ordered. And the fun started.

THere gotto be thousand of westerners hanging around the area and one of them entered our vicitny to take a napkin. We were stumped of course and the manager kept checking us out to ensure we are safe as we sat like, next door to the restaurant, meaning, not INSIDE the restaurant, it was a special place done for us, surrounded by glass door. He was smart enuff to put down his beer and cigarette in front before coming in to approach us. Few minutes later, that drunken lad came in and did the 'wan suay' act in front of us, and came nearer and said stuff like 'I love Dubai' and 'I love Saud' (beacause we were all in our tudungs). He kept bowing down and saying Thank You (for just a piece of napkin?!) and I exclaimed loudly in Malay that 'he BETTER don't puke cos he is blardy drunk).

Then came a security guard and saw the small ruckus and I mouthed 'We need help here' to him. SO he came and the drunken lad gave his last Thank You and went away. The traumatising part for me came when I wanted to take a picture of the whole people in concert scene but my friend offered to be inside the photo to act as a decoy. By this time, lots of people went out and litter the empty space just outside where we were sitting and they all came near towards our place as they wanna sit againts the glass door and steal some chill air. THis Ang Moh guy said Hi to us but as a reflex action, I was the one responded to him but my friends just kept quiet. Received an earful from my friends before I realised what I've just done.

You see the one's sitting down? Yeah that's the 'Hi' guy.

I don't have the drunken lad picture though.

He (the 'hi' guy)kept looking my way while I just stare somewhere and when we got ready to leave, I saw him standing up as well. I got terrified and apologised to my friends that I did not mean to get his attention cos I thought I was just being polite saying 'hi' back. Thank GOd the manager escorted us towards the exit and I tried to blend in with my friends in case the ang moh pull me away or something cos it was crowded down there.

And it doesnt end there. When we were walking among the shophouses, a big group of guys just turned and stare at us, ready to pounce but we were quick. OMG la. IT was hell but kinda good experience to be more aware. I mean, I've been to Little India and seen worse and I did not know what came on to me yesterday. Came out with a hypothesis to Khatim that maube I said 'hi' back cos I was in the company of MANY people around me and also, he was at a distant from me. Guys said hi to me and my friend lotsa times in Lil india but there's only 2 of us so we just walked away quickly lah, duhhh.

Anyway, we spent a very nice time talking about marriage (again) as Shahidah is getting hitched next March with the band singing something which sounded like vomit sounds (the sound's gonna be an inside joke from now on eh guys. HAHAHA). And we are all anticipating Suri's wedding this July. Wonder when's mine. HAHAHAHA. right.

What a NIGHT!

Ok ok enuff already. Pictures now.

And it has been a tradition that EVERYTIME it's my camera, they will do some silly willies to destroy the whole picture. But seriously people, its yourselves who will look silly. nyehehehe. By the way, I was doing the 'rock you' symbol just to blend in maah. HAHAHA

By the way, that's my terrified face forcing a smile.

2 more months to go baybeh.

[Saturday, May 26, 2007]

Friday, May 25, 2007

of my past and present

So Jannah's summer break continues..

Visited my old school yesterday for a parent meeting session. As always, I was overwhelmed by the environment. Try spending 10 years in one place and suddenly, you did not realise that you will leave that place for good.

I got a shock when the teachers who teach both my sisters (Nurshuhaiba and Nabilah) commented that they are very well-behaved and obedient, but they are weak in studies. I mean, WELL-BEHAVED and OBEDIENT? They should see how they are at home. geee.

This 'batu hitam' (black rock) has been our meeting place since like forever. And the tradition still goes on.

I can't believe that this crystal trophy is still present in the exhibition cupboard. Only that it is being placed on the top most level so I had to tiptoe to take this picture. Very memorable journey I had for this one. =).

While my mother was talking to one of my youngest sis's teacher, I took an opportunity to 'act' like a teacher. The whole situation kinda reminded me of my 4 months stint teaching at Al-Irsyad.

The secondary boys training for National Day celebration here.

After that me and mama went to Geylang before I scooted off to NTU for the 3rd adhoc meeting. I love sunny afternoons with her. She loved to rattle about her past. Few days ago I remembered she telling me that she almost got hitched with a Malaysian prince who just came back from England and they met when my mum was a custom officer at the airport.

Me: Hah? Malaysian? I thought it was a Brunei prince?
Mama: Oh no, that one different. That one not handsome got moustache. This one better.
Me: Sure not?
Mama: Yes. But I did not want to because (can't say here due to stereotyping. approach me personally if you wanna know).
Me: -_-"

Talking about history, I had to scratch the idea of me going all over Singapore (well, almost) to take pictures of the places I lived before and those which have sooo much memories. Why? Too bad that most of the places have been revamped now. Well, too much on my hand now. I even had to keep the idea of taking the car license. No interest lah. I'm fated to be driven around. ehem. hurrr.

And I can't wait for a mini reunion with MWTI friends at Padi & Nooch laterrrr. =)

[Friday, May 25, 2007]

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

of sucky laptop

I just realised that everytime I sent my laptop for servicing, my hardisk always appear to be slower. I had sent them an email expressing my displease.

Trying to design a new layout. Will be back soon. =)

[Wednesday, May 23, 2007]

Saturday, May 19, 2007

of jaded

.I.AM.TIRED.OF.MYSELF.

[Saturday, May 19, 2007]

Friday, May 18, 2007

of well..stuff

(blogger just swallowed my original entry)

Ahh. well. Overwhelmed again. This is what my Summer break is like, hah? (blood diamond style).

What's a Love?
What is unrequited love?
What is unconditional love?
And what do you call a lady who wait in vain for a man?
And what do you call a man who wait in vain for a lady?
And what do you call a lady who likes a man and he likes her back, but both are just waiting by the sidelines?
And what do you call a lady who likes a man and she knows that he knows that the she likes him and she confronted him, but he being very unresponsive, and thus both of them just doing nothing about it and the lady is stifling?

Mixed myself a sexy sling (Idza's sexy recipe) and think about all those. Ahuh. When I have nothing to do, I dwell. Think of this and that. I dwell. And I cry. I dwell more on ya know, the time of the month.

If Mal giving me 'Tristan and Isolde', I will dwell even more.

And nice guys finish last? Oh man, don't go around and say that. The thing is, I prefer nice guy anytime over a mat but how is it that nice guys always taken or that theu always longing for the other someone who, did not even notice him? So tell me, how is it that nice guys always finish last? They don't!

Anyway, we the people (some of them) of NTUMS freshmen organiser: Blood and Roses '07, had a fun time distributing flyers last Tuesday. If you are living around Tampines St. 12 (the one opposite TM), expect us to come by this Saturday the 19th for newspaper collection for our fundraising effort for the camp. =)

I want my numero uno, you.=)

[Friday, May 18, 2007]

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

of the unexpected

Hewda said I'm so lagging behind news. Fine. Guilty as charge. A bit taken aback when I read from Hidayat's blog about a (late) NIE PGDE P.E. student left this world after being hit by a tree in his sleep.

Let's all take a moment and reflect.

And from God we came, and to Him we return.

[Wednesday, May 16, 2007]

Sunday, May 13, 2007

of S.A.K.H.Y.M + I

Now I know that GV Marina is not inside Marina Square. It is inside, what Azmi called, Marina shopping centre. HAH. No name was given for that building where GV Marina stands. S.A.K.H.Y.M (Syahrom, Ann, Kamal, Hani, Yana, Mimi) was full house todaaay! with abang Isnin kiterrr. hurrr.

And so I was late. Called for a taxi and arrived 5 minutes before the movie started. 'Jangan Pandang Belakang' (Don't Look Back). Scarrry. We even joked about LOUDLY in the movie and no one scolded us. Leeet.

It was very hard to reallly meet EVERYONE of us TOGETHER as usually, one of us could not make it. Today, thankfully, everyone came down. We even had an additional member. Isnin. Welcome, velcome. After the movie, as usual, we ate brunch at Secret Recipe.

After Asar, 3 of them went home and the remaining four lepak-ed at Minds Cafe. Games Galore! And I just can't stop eating. Nice blueberry popcorn. And it was nicer as Nyny sponsored it. =). We played Guillotine (I think that's the name), duck sumthingsumthing, a game which was something like how you play 'Snap!' and this fairytale cards thingy.

Lotsa blogging moments when we played, especially the last game where if you have a king card, you can take a queen card which have points. And if you got an action card like sleeping potion, knight, joker, wand and dragon, you can use to 'attack' your opponent. And so while this ang moh waiter was explaining to us, Isnin simply can't resist to give me this 'I will aim at you Jannah' look. When he started first, he asked us what does the sleey potion card do and when we explained, again, he game me that look and we all laughed. And suddenly, when it was my turn, I put down that sleeping potion card that I have in order to steal away Isnin's card and it caused an uproar cause it was uncalled for. Booya! Don't mess with me hor. Kay next time we go there we play 'Men are from mars, Women are from venus' (couple game) ayte? HAHAHAHA.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

You may wish to click for a bigger picture.
Oh and here are the last peeks of us NIE gals after the exams. wooo~

PS: Blogger is definitely wrong. Pardon me for the small fonts.

If only you are by my side, I will never fail to smile.

[Sunday, May 13, 2007]

Friday, May 11, 2007

of random poetic words.

I carry your heart with me.
I carry it in my heart.
I am never without it.

Anywhere I go, you go, my dear.
And whatever is done by only me...
is your doing, my darling.
I fear no fate...
for you are my fate, my sweet.
I want no world, for, beautiful...
you are my world, my true.

Here is the deepest secret no one knows.
Here is the root of the root...
and the bud of the bud...
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life...
which grows higher than the soul can hope...
or mind can hide.
It is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

I carry your heart.
I carry it in my heart.

-E.E. Cummings.

**************
They say love is blind.
They say falling is painful.

But love is never blind, I'd say.
For it is pure and beautiful, I'd say
Lovers were forced to be blind, I'd say.
They are in their own world, I'd say.
Everything seems fine, they see.
But all is a joke, I'd see.
Because sometimes, happiness is temporary, you'd see.

Falling is never painful, I'd say.
For you only bleed blood, you'd see.
But falling in love is tormenting, I'd say
For you might just just gain nothing.
As your heart keeps shattering.
And you can't see it breaking, you'd see.

They say roses are red.
They say violets are blue.

And why do God kept me away,
From You.

- Nurjannah Othman

[Friday, May 11, 2007]

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

of Mustaffaaaaa

HAHAHAH. yeah. It's like a routine that after one semester, we gonna always visit Lil India. This time it was only me and Nisha (bufus). I bought a gagra (top with skirt) but it had to be altered a whole lot. Cloth had to be stitched as the blouse is damn short and sleeves had to be added cos the blouse is sleeveless. And some of the sequins went missing on the skirt but I so love the whole design. It's waaay nicer than the normal gagra which is always gaudy. Mine is in cream coloured and nicely sequined. Not too much, not too little. Got it for 100 bucks and plus 20 bux fo additional of sleeves.

Bought it for an upcoming NUS Muslimah night as the theme is Bollywood but I think I won't wear the new gagra as it is way too nice to be worn on a normal 'unfestive' night. Instead, I shall keep it for Hari Raya this year and wear my red punjabi that I bought during the last semester break. =).

Idza deary gave me this quote from a show in her email just now. It striked a whole lot of my heart chords.

"It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

"Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time he does something that tells you he's no good, you ignore it. And every time he comes through and suprises you, he wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that he's not for you."

and maybe if I can forget the colour blue, then I can stop missing you. (eh wait, maybe you don't like the colour blue)

[Wednesday, May 09, 2007]

of this feeling

Today was a bit overwhelming. Came to school and met Hewda's mum for the hall key. Thank God I was just in time before her mum went home. Then after reaching hall, went to meet Kamal for CDs at West Mall. Was overwhelmingly bored and I need to get out of the house as mummy is like a ticking bomb. Depressing you know.

Asked Mal to accompany me but he can't. Well maybe there are some other reasons as well but oh well. And thank God for his book. You guys gotto read it. 'Why Men have nipples?' And no, its not all about answering that question. It's just one of the million (exaggerating here) questions that people usually ask like, 'Is sperm nutritious?' or 'Would my urine smell after eating asparagus'? Hilarious I tell you. I even laughed out loud when reading it at McCafe and people did a double take when they saw the book I was holding. What a wit that book is.

Had a meaningful chat with Fadz. T'was nice. Thanks. Another 10 points for you, Mr Policeman. HAHAHA.

And Idzaaaaa, ehemmmm. See you tomorrow kaaay. I go Lil India in the morning and buy you laddus, can? Or I bring vaaan veery handsome man.

And why I still miss him though I despise him for some stuff? Hmmm. This must be stopped.

[Wednesday, May 09, 2007]

Monday, May 07, 2007

of too good to be true

Woah. I can't believe by answering 5 questions, they can predict such accuracy.

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.
You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?
You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky.
In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.
Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

[Monday, May 07, 2007]

of belated daddy's 57th

Alas. I finally visited my daddy

And this is my oher younger brother, a sec 2 student. Luqman's the name. His name and dad's rhyme together. Luqman Othman.

And I went for scalp treatment. hehe

I wish that I didn't miss you. But I think I just did.

[Monday, May 07, 2007]

Sunday, May 06, 2007

of them and You

Ahuh. lemme post some pics of us muggers. We come all the way (from hall actually) to study at student hub. One of them is not in the picture and she is not a hall stayer. Right Wankay?

And then just one day before our first paper, we went to Siti Hamidah's wedding!

Still yet to get peektures from Nisha of our after exam outing! hmmphh.

Oh and I got an invitation!!

My Suhailah gonna get married! Finally. But urrghh, I might have another event that day. FOr some of you NTU, she is Sameer's sister. =)

*********************************************************************************************************************
Love story you say? Hmmm.

It's been a while Dear. I totally forgot about You. Ok I lied. You're in my mind every second of the day, only I suppress it. This feeling. This feeling of wondering where the beejeezers are You. So I stop longing for You here. As I long so much deep in me.

To think my longing actually touch some hearts of the people. Too bad my longing doesn't reach You. It reach the others but not you, You.

So I tried to distract myself. With James Franco, Johnny Depp, Milo Ventimiglia, Jensen Ackles and the likes. Because all this anticipation of wondering how You look like, whether we have crossed each other's paths before, whether maybe, we've seen each other's friendsters and whether we've read each other's blogs or rather mine.

Or even we've talked too many a times before. or even IM-ed each other. Oh this guessing game.

And then exams came and go. Deprived of sleep and now I have time on my hands to even wonder more. But I can't do this any longer. It's eating me inside. Too tired to even hope.

But again hope is the only inkling that I can hold on to. Other's have found their happy ending. I'm still right back where I started.

To think that I even wrote down all the things and happenings that make or break me so that when You do come along, I will tell EVERYTHING to You. Pour out all my woes to You and rant and whine at You because You were late.

Right now, I have no shoulders to cry on. I could only bury my face in my own palms. And I will cry even more because I pity myself for crying in my own hands. Mother you say? Nope. Mother has been treating me like a stranger and has been barking at me.

Everything is failing. But I still have Allah. And I hope He does not fail me.

The moon is full my dear. Hope you be mesmerized by it. For I will be looking at the same moon too.

[Sunday, May 06, 2007]

Friday, May 04, 2007

of 6 things

Second post for the day. Ayte. I moved my tagbox further up. =)

So now, I have been entrusted to do this by Bagio *insert handsome Ah Beng 'wah shiok ah'*.

1. I MUST have carpet under my feet while studying. I just can't stand the cold floor.
2. I find goatee sooo, scintillating.
3. I realised that when I have too much time on my hands, the more work is not done. vhaat is this.
4. I can mimic accents very well. Indian and Thai.
5. I want to try wearing boxers. woo~~
6. I just have this urge to do the *peace jutting at my cheek* pose. And always, the picture ends up NICER than my normal pose. -_-"

6 People to do this.
1. Hewda
2. Mai
3. Suhaila
4. Aqillah
5. Hidayat
6. Arjuna

THat's it. Nothing new lor. Most of you guys would know the above. Hmm.

[Friday, May 04, 2007]

of late post

Ok Ok. I have not updated because I have not yet received photos from my friend.

So now. Where am I? Still at hall. woohoo~. I packed some stuff and put on Hewda's side of the room cos I am after all, illegal roomie. Just in case if someone will be moving in and taking over the supposedly empty side of the room. Hewda mentioned something about the hall office will make sure that all room will have 2 people so whoever staying alone currently will move in with the other who is staying alone for a while before getting the right room. I just hope Hewda won't be the one moving out cos if not, I have to carry my stuff too. Very complicated things la.

Lemme start. After we (NIE Bio students) got our long awaited freedom, some of us went to watch Spider-man 3!!! Ahhhhhh. And they jio me for KBOX as they wanna hear me sing but the movie ended too late hence THEY promised me that they will make it on another day. SUch sweets lah you all.

Let's just say James Franco (Green Goblin Jr.) is suchaaa...Hubba Hubba. And him in that black armoured-like suit (I wonder why it isn't green eh.)

And why is it that they never show MJ and Peter Parker married or something?Out of the movie budget lah I guess.

I did tonnes of things! I editted my friendster profile tousand times. Leave crappy comments on profiles. Bloghopped. Watch Heroes. Bla2

Just now Alvin and Edwin fetched me as Edwin (Ngee Ann old time friend, met during CCA, ERS stands for Environmental Rangers Society. Yeah. I wanna save the world once upon a time). We met cos Edwin wanna ask my favour in using my NTU's account to buy a laptop. And I agreed since he will be paying fully. Alvin, who is my so-called poly husband back then, would never fail to ask me why I'm still single and he went on about 'must think of my own good', and 'no need to be shy, just ask the guy out' and 'NTU is a great place to find one lah Jannah. what take you so long'. THe hell?! I asked Edwin to shut him up. Alvin's ideas seem verrry absurd. He know my doc bro's friends as he met them at CMPB and he even asked me to snatch my doc bro's friend?!!! MY god Alvin!

He even had the cheek to say that I should consider Edwin too in front of Edwin himself?!! And both Edwin and me scoffed at him. He is too honest lah sometimes.

The moment I saw Edwin at Hall 14 canteen, I went "EH Edwin you look the same!" and he said the same to me too! GOsh, it has been like, 3 years. Then we started talking about how one of our friend is very thin now and own his own business and BMW. And how Shivali, who was once Hewda's roommie after Su moved out, is Edwin's friend cos Edwin saw her picture on the JCRC 14's bulletin board outside the canteen. -_-"

So we had a hilarious time talking about finding a life partner, about religion and abstinence. Lesson learnt for the day is about being very faithful as this Edwin is going overseas to study. I kinda awed at what he says about having a conscience. nice one Edwin. And I got to know that Alvin has been smoking socially, as in, sometimes. People change. Damn you Change.

And I so love Edwin's (his dad's) BMW. Look so old and towkay-like. Being drove around (from hall 14, to north spine to south spine and back) like that. ah. And Canteen B at South Spine has good Malay food!!! And Hall 14 canteen has all the nice food like Japanese and Western, but ain't HALAL. geeeee. Will take note of the drinks+dessert stall. I bought bubble tea and toasted bread there. The only stall I can count on.

Pictures will be posted in the next post. Maybe tomorrow after I arrived home as my Sony is at home, fermenting.

Now, now. I am free ('cept for FOC stuff and school observation). Who wanna date me?!

Oh gee! HAPPY 51ST BERFDAY MUMMY. I'm sucha bad daughter.

[Friday, May 04, 2007]

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